.

listening to adults discuss the current scandals present in the adult world, i realized that one thing constantly kept popping into my mind.

that fact that sometimes, adults truly and sincerely disgust me.

growing up in was drilled into my mind that it was ohkay to lose.

but since when was winning and losing the only answers?

since when was money the only goal?

since when were dirty tricks the only tricks?

there's more than just winning or losing a game. there are other ways to live, and just because you win doesn't mean you won the right way. There are other choices in life, and if they can't see it, that's just ridiculous. I understand that losing could mean losing it all, but it's the choices you made before that that even put you in that situation. what kind of future generations will come of this? What kind of examples are these people setting. these so-called "standards" will be brainwashed into the minds of others, so that in the future, no one will even remember what used to be good or bad, they won't even remember how to not-cheat.

In school, there are so many punishments for kids who cheat, or copy, or even wear their uniforms wrong(which to me is ridiculous, but that's another story). To the point where our every move is scrutinized and judged by teachers. But who brought this upon us. who taught us that cheating is better than losing? Who set these "standards" that have pressured us into doing so? 
Who taught us this "common sense"? They think our mistakes our bad, how of their own?

How hypocritical are some adults?

seriously. we're the young and stupid ones? maybe the adults should be the ones going to school.

(disclaimer: these are only SOME adults. seriously.)

look at the stars
look how they shine for you
and all the things you do.

look at the stars
look how they shine for you
and all the things you do.

this place is a freaking miracle.

my life.

complete.

everything.

is.

right.

hhahahahah <3

have you ever felt your heart break inside you?

"you're fat. you're ugly, and you're arrogant. I know you're my daughter, but honestly, this is what a lot of people think. I mean, you've got no friends."
"yes i do."
"please. even your so called best friend tried to avoid you once."

heartbreak.

you know that feeling when you're stuck inside something. and you can't breathe. when you're crying so hard that words fail you. when your tongue gets stuck in your throat and suddenly you're not crying anymore, you're just choking. You can't breathe, and you want to scream but you can't. Cause you know they can hear you, you know that they'll just come in and scream at you even more if you scream. So you keep it in, disguise your suffocation as a cough, and cover your face with a blanket.

But you know it won't work. You know they can hear.

heartbreak.

"stop venting your temper! you think everything is about you. everything."
what they don't get is that you can't find hope in the world anymore.

heartbreak.

i ran out and i start to cry.
where is the world that I once knew?

heart breaking.

she walks down the street, and runs up the overhead bridge. tears are in her eyes, she can't see anything anymore. she asks herself, "what is the point?"

she climbs up over the rail, and closes her eyes.

heart broken.

this is very strange
i don't understand at all
very weirdly odd.

i don't like this game
It's know to mankind as life
I'm not good at it.

all these twists and turns
all leading to the unknown 
they kind of annoy

and now stuck at home
I just wanna stay in bed
and stay where I am

Cause this journey, life
complicated, uneasy
tiring out me

to it's full extent
I'm an exhausted being
rest is what i need

right before bedtime
I pulled out the word of God
and checked out this verse.

Come to me, all you
who are weary and burdened
i will give you rest.

for the love of God
is so strong and powerful
soon i'll truly see.

"i will wait for you."

"yeah, until my heart stops beating."

"maybe even then."

For the grace of God has been revealed, 
bringing salvation to all people.

And we are instructed to turn from godless living and sinful pleasures.
We should live in this evil world with wisdom,
righteousness,
and devotion to God,

while we look forward with hope to that
wonderful day
when the
glory of out great God and savior
Jesus Christ
will be revealed.

He gave His life to free us
from every kind of sin,
to cleanse us,
and to make us His very own people,
totally committed
to doing good things.

Titus 2:11-14

i feel like i belong nowhere.

i don't know why.

sigh.

i hate this. ):

and sometimes i turn off the lights and just sit there and let the music whisper your name to my heart.

one day, i'll put a picture on flickr, and that'll be it's title.

1. How are you feeling today?
Life After You - Daughtry

2. Will you get far in life?
Dance Hall Drug - Boys Like Girls

3. How do your friends see you?
My Beautiful - Chris McClarney

4. Will you get married?
Healing Begins - Tenth Avenue North

5. What is your best friend’s theme song?
Love Never Fails - Chris McClarney

6. What is the story of your life?
Monday Morning - JS

7. What was high school like?
Hiding Place - Starfield

8. How’s your life going?
My Love - The Dream

9. What’s the best thing about your friends?
Boom Boom Pow - Black Eyed Peas

10. What song will they play during your funeral?
Escape - Thirty Seconds to Mars

11. How does the world see you in?
Crank Dat - Soulja Boy

12. Do people secretly lust after you?
The Way I Loved You - Taylor Swift

13. How can you make yourself happy?
Watch You Go - Jordin Sparks

14. What should you do with your life?
You Cry a Tear To Start A River - Between the Trees

15. Will you ever have children?
Can't Be Tamed - Miley Cyrus

16. What song would you strip to?
Falling Into You - Big Daddy Weave

17. What does your mum think of you?
Not Meant to Be - Theory of A Deadman

18. What is your deep, dark secret?
Made to Worship - Chris Tomlin

19. What is your enemy’s theme song?
After Your Heart - Phil Wickham

20. What’s your personality like?
Surfaced - The Dangerous Summer

21. What song will be played at your wedding?
My Hands - David Archuleta

22. What will you post this as?
The One (I'm Fighting For) - Article One

stolen from luwee. (:

miss you guys.

):

this doesn't feel right!

it feels all funny.

oh well.

i freaking hate oh well moments.

): i hate this.

I'VE HAD AN EPIPHANY!

and i shared it with fart and kerri already, so i might as well share it with you too.

I think it's so sad, that we always DOWNSIZE GOD.

we're always like,"god, if you would just save this ONE person, or JUST my friends, or JUST MY FAMILY"

THE THING IS

THERE IS NO "JUST" WITH GOD! HAHAHA.

HE CAN DO ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING.

SO WHY SHOULD WE LIMIT HIM TO DOING "JUST THIS" OR "JUST THAT"?

WE SHOULDN'T BE JUST PRAYING FOR THE PEOPLE WE KNOW.

we should be PRAYING FOR EVERYONE WE KNOW.

WHY LIMIT GOD?

someone did once, in the bible.

Mark 9 :23

“What do you mean, ‘If I can’?” Jesus asked. “Anything is possible if a person believes.”

(:

it's 5a.m. and i'm still awake.

it feels. funnily cool. (:

i spent the night at kerri's house, having late night talks, listening to her graduation speech, and watching the best of SYTYCD.

i also tried to make her watch some barbie.

which by the way, fuels my belief that no one is perfect.

see?

even barbie has unglam moments.

i stood at the corner of the courtyard. I watched as all the others, also gathered around the courtyard, and one by one they would come forward, to stand before the giant throne where I knew the King sat. On his right and to his left they were seats, smaller and less royal, but still grand nonetheless.

I watched as the first person went up, and with a bow he picked up his guitar and began to play the most wonderful and beautiful worship song I had ever heard. Every note seemed to echo, and it rang throughout the land, and everyone agreed it was the most lovely sound they had ever heard. And yet the king sat in his seat, looking amused, and at the end of the song, when the crowds began to cheer and scream encouragement, the king smiled, and said, "well done, my good and faithful servant." It was obvious from the look on his face he was happy.

I wondered what I would do when it was my turn. I wondered what I could do. I was so nervous. I didn't want to make any mistakes, I didn't want to fail. I was never really very talented in performing, and so I had no idea.

I watched as an old lady stood up and walked towards the center, where all eyes would be on her. She began to speak words that I could not understand, but slowly and surely i heard her. It was the most intricate poem and form of speech I had ever heard, and if words could ever be used to describe the awesomeness of the King, she was the closest. The words she used sounded like honey out of her mouth, and as she spoke emotions were provoked throughout the crowd, and it was hard not to have goosebumps as her speech ran onto an emotional high, and when she was done everyone clapped, and some even wiped happy tears from their eyes.

As more and more people went up to try and impress the King, I stood silently. I didn't know what I was going to do, and I was so nervous about that. I started thinking of my life before coming to this place, started thinking about all i had to do. About all the pain I went through on my journey, about all those who laughed and snickered at me. I thought about all the things I had to give up, and all the things I had to lose. I thought about when I felt alone, and when I questioned the reality of the place I was looking for. I know i'd found it, but I knew it was hard. And I knew what I had to do.

All the people surrounding the courtyard looked on as a girl started running across the long empty courtyard, tears streaming down her face. The King jumped off his seat and ran to meet her, and caught her as she ran into His arms. She started to whisper, "it was so hard" and all he did was smile and hug her tight, saying, "I know child, I know." She cried to all her tears had gone, and all the pain and sorrow had left her body. He helped her onto her feet, and with a smile he patted her head, held her hand, and as they walked away together the courtyard started clapping, and people started crying tears of joy, tears that let go of the sadness and pain they had been holding in as well, and as everyone walked out of the courtyard together. The king stood at the front of the crowd, arms wide open, he declared, "Welcome home."

it's done, and there's nothing to be done about it.

):

dammit i'm bored already. ):